I figured that title would pull in some new readers.  It’s a slippery slope to talk about the “in laws” isn’t it?  I think all of us want the approval of our mothers-in-law.  You know, it IS their ‘baby girl’ princess or ‘perfect in every way’ baby boy that you’ve stolen!

Before I even begin, let me give a disclaimer, I love my mother-in-law.  If it weren’t for her, I would have never made almost 40 years of marriage.  She talked me off the ledge and out of divorce court multiple times in the early days of my wedded bliss and for that, I am forever thankful.  However, she doesn’t own a computer, so I know that she’ll never read this, unless one of you throw me under the bus.  And then there’s the fact that I AM a mother-in-law myself and I’m certain there have been times that I’ve said the wrong words.  So Erin (she reads my blogs) and Tuyl, please forgive me for my past and future mistakes.  I love you both and couldn’t be prouder of who my children chose to marry.  You are both amazing parents and spouses to my ‘perfect in every way’ boy and my ‘baby girl’ princess!

Now that that’s out of the way, I feel compelled to share my latest revelation that occurred because of a can of turnip greens!  God sometimes shows up with lessons in the strangest places.  For over 40 years, I have tried to gain the approval of my mother-in-law and yesterday it finally hit me like a brick…I don’t need it!  And truthfully, she probably doesn’t even realize that I’ve been desperately longing to hear her say that she is proud of me, of my marriage, of my children, or of our accomplishments.  In fact, in her defense, she has spoken words of approval over the years, but they were never enough to fill my obviously empty tank, that was probably caused by a childhood of not feeling wanted.  I’m throwing away that tank today and I’m taking her off the hook!  I have the approval of the Creator of the universe – why do I need the approval of another sojourner?

Some people have so much emotional pain and baggage of their own, that they can’t even recognize the needs of those around them.  They are empty themselves, yet we expect them to fill our needs.  So what do we do with these ‘toxic’ people in our lives?  We work with them, they’re our neighbors, or maybe even family members.  Do we simply give a cold shoulder and ignore or avoid them?  Do we put up our guard when we have to be around them and resolve that no matter what they say or do, we WILL NOT allow it to hurt us or get under our skin…yet again?  I’ve tried these tactics and others and they never seem to work.  So I asked myself the obvious cliché’  – what would Jesus do?  I remembered that Jesus called Peter (his dear friend) Satan and then told him to get behind him that he was a stumbling block. This shows me that even those who follow Jesus can be the mouthpiece of our enemy.  So, I’ve decided to try something new.  When I get around anyone who brings out the worst in me:  anger, a sense of rejection, guilt, depression, judgment, etc., I am going to laugh.  I’ve realized that I am allowing them to control me and steal my joy.  I have become their puppet; you and I need to cut those strings and quit dancing for them.  Ecclesiastes 3:4 says, “There is a time to laugh” – I think this is a perfect time to laugh at Satan and the old approval addicted me. 

We are called to love one another, not to constantly seek their approval.  We must hold on to our joy and peace at all cost, because that joy drives us to the next step in the journey and plan that God has for our lives.  So love your mother-in-law or your own mother or your neighbor or your boss, but NEVER allow anyone to take your focus off of Jesus.  So the next time someone else’s words hit a raw place in your soul like, “These aren’t the kind of turnip greens I wanted!” – try laughing at the failed attempt to steal your peace.  “She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future” (Proverbs 31:25).