2nd Place is Like Kissing Your Sibling

By Crystal Drake I heard that interesting phrase, the one above, that made its way into my title, years ago.  I heard it again seven years ago when I ran for the Florida state legislature from one of my supporters.  So, when I came in at ‘second place’ I felt like a complete failure. I had let so many people down who had graciously given me their time and even financial support.  I was totally embarrassed to have pulled them into my obviously ridiculous dream, and then lost.  I believed I had wasted an entire year of my life and theirs.  But I was wrong and so is that phrase!

The phrase literally means that kissing your sister or brother isn’t exciting or exceptional, or maybe even gross! Yet, I know many people who would give anything to kiss their sibling one more time.  Your siblings know all about you and still give unconditional love and support.  However, the figurative message is that if you try and you don’t win, your effort was meaningless and useless.  I strongly disagree.

My daughter wanted to enter a beauty contest one time, and I discouraged her.  I knew she was pretty and actually has a very distinctive look that is uniquely beautiful.  I knew she had a very good chance of winning, but I feared that if she didn’t, her self-esteem might be shattered for life.  I gave her a speech that went something like this:  “Now, if you are going to be devastated if you don’t win, then I don’t want you to enter.”  She didn’t enter.  In retrospect, this was terrible parenting, but at the time, I was trying to shield her from pain and possible embarrassment that I myself had experienced before. But I wish I could go back and change that speech to, “You’re going to have so much fun learning to be comfortable on stage, hanging out with your friends at practice, and meeting new people.  It’s going to be a positive learning experience that will enhance your world – win or lose.  Go for it!”  These aren’t just platitudes, but truth.

My own mom did a similar thing to me.  I ran my first 5K when I was a little over 50!  I came in second in my age group.  My mama probably had no idea what an accomplishment that was for me to run that far (well, if scuffling your feet as slow as possible without moving into a walk counts).  That was the longest, yet most invigorating three miles of my life!  The same girl that could never win the Presidential Physical Fitness Award in elementary school because of the mile run requirement, had just finished RUNNING THREE MILES…AT OVER 50 YEARS OLD!  She jokingly told me that my younger brother had told his son that making Bs wasn’t acceptable, that only As and first place meant anything.  I was deflated by her unenthusiastic response.  She had no idea how her innocent words had affected me, just like I didn’t with my own daughter.  However, it’s our own mistakes, indeed, that teach us how to give grace freely and in this case, quickly.  I still cherished my medal despite her reaction.

If we have truly given God the reins of our lives, then we have to trust Him even in our failures. Romans 8:28 reminds us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” So, don’t worry about possibly coming in second, just get in the arena and do your best. God will use either victory or defeat to make us better, because He loves us. Now, go kiss your brother or sister!